3 Tips for Living Authentically in a Social Comparison Society
“Stop hating yourself for what you aren’t, and start loving yourself for who you are”
A lot of my early 20’s have been spent discovering what it means to be authentic, or my “truest self.” After writing out my 2018 goals, one of the qualities I’d like to possess going into next year is to live authentically. In this post I’ll show you what I’ve learned so far!
So we all know social media is another tool our generation uses to connect. And while there are many positives for using media as a platform, I whole-heartedly believe that social media can negatively affect not only how we want to be seen, but how we see ourselves. Our highlight reels have created illusions of what it means to live, and impossible, unattainable standards of meeting “perfection” or what living “perfectly” looks like. False appearances, deception, and mimicry have easily compromised our own truth of what success, and even failure, mean to us. Subconsciously, or consciously, feeling pressure to make it known that we are living our best life.
There were several months that had gone by where I’d tell myself I don’t have the resources, or what it takes to be a “successful blogger",” writer, you name it. I became so frustrated that I just had enough. I took a step back and reflected on what was fueling this negativity. My aha! moment? It’s the negative act of comparison. You know the feeling—when everyone seems happy, successful, and living the life they want to live. But why can’t we? It’s important that we destroy these illusions we’ve created about other people, and about ourselves. How do we do this?
KNOW WHO YOU ARE + WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
This sounds really simple, but know your values. I talk about values a lot because I feel it’s the ultimate source to how we live and make decisions that align with our truest self. Know who you are, and define the person you want to become. Back when I wrote the article “4 Powerful Ways to Practice Self-Love”, I was wrapping up a period of self-doubt and low self-esteem. I was allowing others to see me the way they wanted to see me, instead of letting them see me for who I really am. I finally learned to start ruling this out by really trying to know and understand who I truly am, and deciding to take control by aligning my actions with that. This also allowed me to set boundaries. I started writing these things down: (1) my values, (2) who I am right now, and (3) who I want to become. I can assure you that you will not only feel more confident, but you will feel peace, and maybe even excitement knowing that you’re on the journey to discovering yourself.
2. STOP OVERTHINKING THEIR OPINIONS
“If you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection”
I get it, it is so much easier said than done when it comes to shutting off others opinions. It takes practice. Fear of judgment, criticism, not feeling accepted—these all influence how we live. And it’s impossible to feel free when we live this way. But if you know who you are as a person, and your heart feels like you are doing the right thing, then that’s the only thing that matters. You will attract greater opportunities when you live from what your soul desires, rather than what people desire from you.
Caring what others think also hinders us from making the most out of our personalities. We hold ourselves back from expression for the sake of embarrassment or rejection. We can end up suppressing who we want to be, because we’re concerned with how others think we should be, or how we should act. So when you stop to do something and hesitate, think to yourself…are you hesitating because you actually feel wrong about it, or because you just fear being judged? We will never be able to explore our truest selves if we are always cautious of other opinions. People won’t get the benefit of what the real you can actually bring to the table. And to be frank (I say this lightly) it’s selfish not using your unique gifts!
You really don’t know who you can inspire by being your true, authentic self.
When you don’t seek or look for approval, you are at your most powerful.
If it matters to you, who cares if it matters to anyone else?
Stop hating yourself for what you aren’t, and start loving yourself for who you are. (I say this twice because it’s so important)
3. STEP OUT OF FEAR. IT’s not who you are.
Don’t be afraid to explore opportunities that make your heart happy. Don’t be afraid of changing for the better. Small reminder: you’re allowed to change over night. Don’t be afraid of getting rid of dead weight–also known as the people and things that are negative and only hinder your growth. Don’t be afraid to stop waiting and start acting. Don’t be afraid of the people you may hurt on the way to discovering yourself (the real ones will stay). Don’t be afraid of growth. Don’t be afraid of the unknown, because if you’re following your heart you will end up where you’re meant to be. Don’t be afraid to let your light shine. Don’t be afraid to live for yourself, and to stop living for the sake of others.
I challenge you this week to start acting, to stop waiting to be ready, to stop holding back, to stop looking for approval, and to stop comparing yourself to others. The world needs the real you. We’re waiting!